What do you do when people are not loving and loyal to you and the hurt won't stop? In The Five Things We Cannot Change, and the Happiness We Find By Embracing Them, David Richo addresses this question. He points out that it is natural to feel hurt when others reject or ignore us, but that as healthy psychological adults, we should address the fear, not run from it. He also states that as spiritually mature adults we must feel the hurt without having to retaliate. When we feel the hurt more intensely and cannot let go, we must examine ourselves and our egos. He suggests the following affirmation to help you work through the pain and gain acceptance.
"Fear: I am afraid that I will not survive if everyone does not love me, and this is how I am a source of suffering to myself.
Attachment: I am attached to a very specific version of what I am owed, and this is how I am a source of suffering to myself.
Control: I need to control others’ reactions to me, and this is how I am a source of suffering to myself.
Entitlement: I believe I am entitled to love and loyalty from everyone, and insist on it, and this is how I am a source of suffering to myself.
I am letting go of fear by showing more love and finding excitement in life’s challenges.
I am letting go of attachment to my version of how others should act and I accept the given of life that not everyone will be loving, truthful, honest, caring, or loyal to me all the time.
I am letting go of control and let others love or dislike me as they choose.
I am letting go of my insistence that I be loved and respected by everyone, and I choose to focus instead on being loving and respectful toward everyone I meet.
I am always aware that I am also not loving and loyal all the time and I am working on that."
"Fear: I am afraid that I will not survive if everyone does not love me, and this is how I am a source of suffering to myself.
Attachment: I am attached to a very specific version of what I am owed, and this is how I am a source of suffering to myself.
Control: I need to control others’ reactions to me, and this is how I am a source of suffering to myself.
Entitlement: I believe I am entitled to love and loyalty from everyone, and insist on it, and this is how I am a source of suffering to myself.
I am letting go of fear by showing more love and finding excitement in life’s challenges.
I am letting go of attachment to my version of how others should act and I accept the given of life that not everyone will be loving, truthful, honest, caring, or loyal to me all the time.
I am letting go of control and let others love or dislike me as they choose.
I am letting go of my insistence that I be loved and respected by everyone, and I choose to focus instead on being loving and respectful toward everyone I meet.
I am always aware that I am also not loving and loyal all the time and I am working on that."
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