Why does betrayal hurt so much? Betrayal is the violation of a trust that leads to moral and psychological conflict in a relationship. In his article Betrayal in Psychology Today (January 13, 2010), Shirah Vollmer, M.D., states that "betrayal is one of the worst human experiences." He points out that "betrayal involves shock, disapointment and re-evaluation of one's belief system. Almost every betrayal makes the victim look back over their past to try to determine what caused it. This reaction almost inevitably leads to self-blame and guilt." The link between betrayal and unworthiness is how deception causes so much damage to us. Since betrayal causes the victim to feel bad about him or herself ,the victim is hurt twice. "First, his social contract has been broken. Second, he thinks poorly of himself," says Dr. Vollmer. This leads to "an utter sense of helplessness." The greater the trust the victim put in the other person, the greater the impact of the betrayal. The impact can result in anger, dispair and fear. They may feel unable to trust anyone. Often, the victim desires revenge in order to restore a feeling of potency. Revenge will be the topic of a future blog.
Survive your Divorce! Divorce Survival Tactics.
Survive your Divorce! Divorce Survival Tactics.
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